A Grave Hunger Read online

  I ground my teeth together, trying to control the rage sweeping through my body. How dare he insinuate that I wasn't hurting, too. I loved Robert like a father, too. I was done trying to help that arsehole. He wasn't worth it. I was sick and tired of getting my head bitten off every time I tried to talk to him. Well, I was done trying to help him. Screw him.

  I leaned over and put my head in my hands, closed my eyes and tried to push all thoughts of Finlay from my mind.

  CHAPTER 23

  I woke with a start, a scream resonating from my lips. My body was slick with sweat, my heart pounding furiously in my ears. I lay gasping for breath, furiously trying to push the nightmare from my mind, but failing miserably. It was the same nightmare that had jerked me screaming from my sleep every night since Robert had died. The details of the dream never changed. Every aspect was always the same. Robert's words from the dream echoed round my brain.

  "You're too late!"

  I knew what my subconscious was trying to tell me. It wasn't rocket science. I had failed Robert, let him down. I couldn't save him when he needed me the most. After everything he had done for me since my family died, he couldn't rely on me the one time he needed me. Silent tears streamed down my face, dampening my pillow. A knock at the door pulled me from my misery. The sky outside my window was still black, not yet sunrise. What time was it? My hand fumbled for the alarm on my bedside table, I pressed the button and four digits illuminated the room in a neon green display. 3:14. Dragging myself from my bed, I stumbled over to the door and checked the peep hole. Finlay.

  "Hey," I greeted unenthusiastically.

  "Hey," he replied stepping inside and dropping himself down into a chair beside my bed. I slumped down on the bed facing him.

  I shivered against the chilly early morning air. I grabbed a jumper and pulled it over my vest top.

  "No pink bunny PJs tonight, Scotland?" he asked, looking at my skimpy top and short combo.

  "In the wash," I answered curtly. I was still pissed from his outburst earlier.

  "You ok? I heard you screaming again. Another nightmare?"

  Damn these paper thin walls. "Yeah, another nightmare."

  "You've been crying." He reached over and brushed his fingers over my cheeks, brushing off some lingering tears.

  "And you've been drinking again. You smell like a brewery," I countered. After all of Finlay's mood swings over the last few days, it was now my turn to throw a tantrum.

  "No need to get testy. I just wanted to make sure you were ok."

  "I'm pretty far from ok, Finlay. And I have to say that you're not making life any easier on me," I ranted.

  "Sorry I've been snapping at you recently. I shouldn't be taking out what I'm going through on you."

  "So, I'm seeing Dr. Jekyll this morning am I? Can't wait for Mr. Hyde to rear his ugly head again."

  He sighed, pulled out a bottle of whiskey from his jacket pocket and took a swig. He waved the bottle at me as a peace offering. He shrugged as I declined his offer.

  "You want to talk about the nightmare?" he asked.

  "Not really, do you want to talk?"

  A snort of derision was his reply.

  "We have such a healthy relationship," I joked, lightening the mood.

  "Talking is overrated. I say we just drink through it," he responded. He picked up the bottle and took another gulp.

  I frowned. "I'm worried about you, Finlay. Your drinking is getting out of control."

  "And I'm worried about you," he countered.

  "Finlay, drinking isn't ..."

  He cut me off. "Just leave it, will you? You're not my fucking wife. Christ."

  "And there is Mr. Hyde!" I retorted sarcastically.

  I threw back the covers and climbed under them, turning my back on him. The silence of the room was broken by a loud sigh. I expected him to storm out and slam the door behind him. That seemed to be his MO these days, but he surprised me. I heard a quiet thump and turned to see him undressing, throwing a jumper onto the ground alongside his jacket.

  "What are you doing?" I asked exasperated.

  "I'm staying over."

  "Are you now?"

  "I know I've been a dick recently. I haven't been here for you when you needed me, so this is me being here for you." He continued to strip down until he was in his boxer shorts. He must have seen the unimpressed look on my face because he added, "Relax. Nothing's going to happen. Just sleep, I promise."

  "Damn right. I don't have sex with arseholes."

  "Oh, low blow... now scoot."

  I shuffled to the other side of the bed, letting Finlay climb in beside me. He snuggled up behind me, threw his arm around me and pulled me closer into him.

  "Night, Scotland."

  "Night," I replied, closing my eyes. I instantly fell into an exhausted sleep, all anger toward Finlay quickly forgotten.

  CHAPTER 24

  I awoke to the noise of Finlay gently snoring beside me and a feeling that I had slept late. My alarm clock flashed 11.02 a.m. I couldn't believe I had slept so late. It was the best night’s sleep I’d had since Robert had died.

  I dragged myself out of bed, quietly grabbing fresh clothes so as not to wake Finlay. In the bathroom I brushed my teeth and quickly showered, changed into fresh clothes and dragged a brush through my damp locks.

  Reappearing from the bathroom, something white caught my eye lying on the floor beside Finlay's side of the bed. I crept forward to get a closer look. Reaching down to pick it up, an involuntary giggle passed through my lips. It was his boxer shorts. The dirty rat must have taken them off in the middle of the night. Who strips naked in a friend's bed? I sat down at the table opposite the bed, hid the underwear behind my back and cleared my throat loudly. Finlay stirred, stretching out as he woke up.

  "Morning, Scotland," he mumbled sleepily.

  "Good morning. Did you sleep well?" I couldn't stop the smirk spreading across my face. He frowned in confusion. "So, it's getting pretty late. Think maybe you should get up?"

  "I suppose..." His mind eventually clicked, searching the floor for his underwear.

  "Looking for these?" I asked smugly, dangling his boxer shorts at the end of my finger.

  "Yeah, throw them over will you." No sense of embarrassment, no shame, classic Finlay. He responded to the shocked look on my face. "What, I told you before that I sleep naked. I find them uncomfortable to sleep in. Must have taken them off in my sleep."

  "You're unbelievable!"

  "What? Throw them over then if it embarrasses you so much."

  I deliberately threw them short of the mark. Now it was his turn to look smug.

  "All right, Scotland, if that's how you want to play it." He threw the covers back, exposing himself and rising from the bed. Stretching as he did so, showing off every inch of his toned body. I focused on keeping eye contact and arranging my face into a neutral expression. I lasted about four seconds before curiosity got the better of me. I let my gaze drag slowly over his body. My God was he hot. I felt a yearning stirring inside me. He casually walked over and bent to pick up the boxers before striding over toward me.

  "Hey, my eyes are up here you know," he remarked sarcastically, putting his fingers under my chin and tugging it up to meet his eyes. "You women are all the same, always treating us men like we are a piece of meat!"

  He chuckled as he walked into the bathroom and closed the door.

  "Oh... my... God...," I mouthed as I felt the heat of desire flood through my body. Finlay popped his head around the door catching me in the act. Damn it!

  He laughed. "Scotland, you do make me laugh." He popped my toothbrush in his mouth. "You don't mind if I use this do you?"

  "A bit late to ask, but sure, go ahead." He was becoming far too comfortable around me. We had moved passed friendship. We were more like an old married couple without the sex. I heard the shower running and he appeared five minutes later with a towel around his waist.

  "Food? I'm starving," I asked.

>   "Yeah, I'm just going to head back to mine and change into clean clothes. Be back in five." He grabbed his pile of clothes and shoes from the floor and headed outside, barefoot and only a small towel covering him. That man had no shame. I was glad that the old Finlay seemed to be back. I only hoped it would last.

  He reappeared five minutes later wearing jeans, boots and his leather jacket over a fitted white t-shirt.

  "Ready?" he asked.

  "Yup, let's go." We walked to the nearby diner that had become our second home over the last few years. Not having a kitchen in our motel room, we relied on the diner for most of our meals.

  After the short five minute walk, we arrived at Star's Diner. Like everything else in the area, the diner was old and run down. The building was a long rectangular box that looked like it might crumble to the ground at any moment. Photographs of opening day dated thirty years ago were displayed inside the diner, showing a bright vivid blue paint had covered the cinder block walls, giving it a fresh, vibrant look. It was obvious that it hadn't been painted since; now the colour was faded and peeling and longed for some tender loving care.

  The dingy exterior didn't put off customers. A great menu and tasty food brought back loyal regulars, and the diner was always packed. The bell above the door dinged, announcing our arrival. We pushed the door open and made our way over to our usual booth in the corner. I flopped down across from Finlay. He picked up the menu and looked down the list. I didn't bother. I knew the menu by heart.

  I rolled my eyes, as I clocked our usual waitress Anne. She made Bobo the clown’s make up look natural. Her uniform, at least two sizes too small, pushed her large breasts ridiculously high so it looked like they sat aloft under her chin. Her large brown doe eyes would have been an attractive feature if they weren't surrounded by thick eye liner and fake eyelashes. Overly plucked eyebrows were shaped into a high arch, coupled with bright red lipstick smeared over her lips, making her look much older than her 25 years. Long bleached blonde hair, made thin from too many years of hair dye, hung straight down her back. The look was topped off with a pair of three inch stilettos. Her face lit up when she saw Finlay and she shuffled over toward us, trying and failing abysmally to achieve a sexy walk.

  "Finlay, how are you?" she gushed, completely ignoring me. Her attention focused solely on Finlay.

  "Hi, Anne. Looking good. Love the shoes!" .

  "Thanks, honey." She let out a high pitched giggle, dipping her head and looking at him through those ridiculously long lashes in an attempt to lure him in. "They're new. What can I get you today?"

  "I'll have a BLT and a water," he said, beaming at her.

  "Not a problem." This time the words were accented by a twirl of her hair around her finger.

  She turned to face me, acknowledging me for the first time, "And for you?" Icy cold.

  "I'll have the burger and fries and a diet coke." I flashed her a false smile.

  "All right then, I’ll bring it right over for my favourite customer."

  This time I couldn't control myself as my eyes did a full revolution in their sockets. She shuffled away, sending Finlay one more come hither look as she went.

  "Do we really have to go through this flirting routine every time we come in here? It's getting old," I grumbled.

  "What? I can't just turn this off you know," he replied gesturing over his body. "Women love me, can't help it. It's really a curse."

  "Yeah, must be a curse to do a little flirting and get free food every time you come in here."

  He gave me a wicked grin. "Don't worry, baby, you are still my favourite. No need to be jealous."

  I shook my head, as my eyes did another full rotation, "Listen, I'm going to head over to Robert's tonight. Clear some things out. Want to join me?"

  "I can't, I've got plans."

  "What are you up to?" I asked, my curiosity piqued.

  "Nothing special, just busy," he mumbled suspiciously.

  "Tell me, what you doing?" I was relentless.

  "Fine, I know you won't shut up until I tell you. I'm meeting up with a friend - a woman." He stared at me looking for a reaction.

  "Oh, ok, great. Have fun." I didn't like the feeling that was sitting in my gut. Was it jealously? "Going anywhere nice?" I worked to keep my voice casual.

  He shot me a sardonic look, remaining silent. It eventually clicked. Not a date, just sex. My face flushed in embarrassment.

  "Please tell me it's not Anne," I asked, trying to deflect from my embarrassment.

  He laughed. "Give me some credit. I'm more into the natural look."

  It was at that moment that Ann returned with our food and drinks. She threw mine in front of me and turned her attention to Finlay, sending him another beaming smile before she tottered off on her impractical heels.

  I dug in, glad of the distraction.

  "How can you eat nothing but crap and still look like that?"

  "I don't just eat crap. Look, there is a slice of tomato on my burger," I said, demonstrating by opening my burger.

  He shook his head. We ate in a comfortable silence. It felt nice to have the old Finlay back. My best friend was back. For the first time in a long time, I felt content. Almost as though I didn't have a care in the world. But not quite. The recent murders still played heavily on my mind. I wanted to broach the subject with Finlay and start hunting again, but I was reluctant to spoil his good mood. His mood swings had been so erratic recently. I felt one wrong word could set him off. My brain engaged in an internal argument. Pros and cons of broaching the subject of hunting. Cons - he could go off on me again. I had missed him so much recently, and I needed my best friend back. Selfish, selfish, selfish, my brain cells shouted back at me. People are dying and you are worried about upsetting Finlay. If he goes off on you, it is his problem, not yours. Yeah, it is his problem, the cells agreed, coming to an accord.

  "So, are we going to start hunting again? The situation around here is escalating fast. We can't sit by and do nothing," I said tentatively.

  He sent me a scorching look. Great, it looked like Mr. Hyde was about to rear his head once more.

  "Luke and Ryan can deal with it. We're not hunting, not after what happened." His eyes flashed, as he ground out the words between clenched teeth.

  I sat in stunned silence, shocked by yet another venomous response. He leaned over and painfully grabbed me by the arm, "And don't even think about going hunting alone again. You know what happened the last time." His eyes flashed with an emotion I couldn't read.

  "I'm not going to go hunting alone again. I've learned my lesson," I replied with a scowl.

  He nodded, my response seeming to satisfy him.

  "Jesus, Finlay, these mood swings have got to stop. I feel like I'm constantly walking on egg shells around you these days," I grumbled, theatrically rubbing my arm where he grabbed me.

  He looked at the table, refusing to meet my eyes. "Sorry, did I hurt you?" he asked reaching carefully for my arm and giving it a rub.

  "I'll survive."

  "Just promise me that you won't go hunting." He eventually met my eyes with a look of such emotion that it was me that had to look away.

  "I promise I won't go hunting."

  "Ok, let's go," he threw some money on the table and stalked out of the diner, completely ignoring Anne, who waved to him on his way out.

  I sighed as I followed him out. Well at least the old Finlay made an appearance today, if only for a short time.

  CHAPTER 25

  I had spent the last three hours sifting through Robert's belongings, sorting items that were to be kept and things I could throw out. I had made the wrong decision coming to Robert's in the mood I was in. Every box or cupboard I opened reminded me of him and how I had failed to save him, like I couldn't save my family. I was wallowing in self-pity, letting the depression take over me. I felt so alone.

  My thoughts turned to Finlay. He would be with his woman by now. A mental image of the pair together flashed through my mind. The
knot already lodged in my stomach grew exponentially. Why? I wasn't sure. Jealousy? Possibly. Because he had found someone, even if it was just for sex, and I felt so alone? Or was it because I wanted him? There was no doubt that I wanted him in a very carnal fashion. After I had seen him naked, it only served to heighten my already burning desire for him. If it was just about sex, I didn't think that him being with someone else would bother me as much as this. So did that mean I wanted something more with Finlay? Was I in love with him? Was I capable of loving anyone again? My brain failed to answer any of the questions. Right, enough of this moping. I was achieving nothing here. Time to go home.